2020 - 2024
Sunday September 27 2020
7:35 In the dead of may I was born
And on that day the world shook, split, and spit out hellfire
A voodoo child fated to live a life ridiculed by demons
And lead a life plagued by the keeping of the gates
Tethered by rustic chain attached to crystallized stone
And on this day I watched the sky
And prayed to sing
The air held spirits and the vibrations filed me with hope
But I’m chained
And my father chained me
So I watch and I keep the gates so that my hellfire does
not destroy those closest to me
But if I am the devil cast from home
Then I should open my doors
As fire is creation
And with no hell there is no mercy
This crystallized stone is so shiny and black I can see my
reflection
My bloodshot eyes
And my fire spill through open gates
I am oblivious
Just me and my tears
And on that day the world shook, split, and spit out hellfire
A voodoo child fated to live a life ridiculed by demons
And lead a life plagued by the keeping of the gates
Tethered by rustic chain attached to crystallized stone
And on this day I watched the sky
And prayed to sing
The air held spirits and the vibrations filed me with hope
But I’m chained
And my father chained me
So I watch and I keep the gates so that my hellfire does
not destroy those closest to me
But if I am the devil cast from home
Then I should open my doors
As fire is creation
And with no hell there is no mercy
This crystallized stone is so shiny and black I can see my
reflection
My bloodshot eyes
And my fire spill through open gates
I am oblivious
Just me and my tears
Thursday May 13 2021
Mother, oh Mother
Don’t you see your son is crying
Because all my life has been a waste
And all my time has been spent dying
Father, oh Father
I know you see your son is crying
And now death is knocking
And you have no explanation for him at all
Don’t you see your son is crying
Because all my life has been a waste
And all my time has been spent dying
Father, oh Father
I know you see your son is crying
And now death is knocking
And you have no explanation for him at all
Hatred is generational.
Sunday May 16 2021
Cowboy Killer
She’s a like a Cowboy Killer
And I can’t get enough
One Mo’
One Mo’
Till this Cowboy’s Dead
She’s a like a Cowboy Killer
And I can’t get enough
One Mo’
One Mo’
Till this Cowboy’s Dead
From a broken Mother
To the toxic womb of a disabled child
Blood of my Blood
Bone of my Bone
Flesh of my Flesh
Hatred surrounds the womb.
Tuesday May 18 2021
This city reeks of rotten meat and bad thoughts
But the breeze feels like a whisper
So every second of everyday I try to hear what this breeze has to say
But distractions cut through the air
Like a hot knife to my flesh
What is to become of me then?
All of these provocative stares
I walk prepared to entertain them all
Sometimes they hold a whisper as well
At times one softly says … “beauty”
Other times … “hold me please”
Most times it is just white noise and what I can only assume to be pain
Then the universal whisper hits
And it is as loud as the iron hell around me
But when it hits it brings a silence
Then an image of rustling tree tops
It is in this moment I live
The remainder of my life then is a search
Why do I find this place to be so beautiful?
But the breeze feels like a whisper
So every second of everyday I try to hear what this breeze has to say
But distractions cut through the air
Like a hot knife to my flesh
What is to become of me then?
All of these provocative stares
I walk prepared to entertain them all
Sometimes they hold a whisper as well
At times one softly says … “beauty”
Other times … “hold me please”
Most times it is just white noise and what I can only assume to be pain
Then the universal whisper hits
And it is as loud as the iron hell around me
But when it hits it brings a silence
Then an image of rustling tree tops
It is in this moment I live
The remainder of my life then is a search
Why do I find this place to be so beautiful?
Tuesday May 18 2021
I pulled something out of my pocket earlier
Something I didn’t know was there
After the initial feeling of shock and fear subdued
I thought to myself
“Hey Satan”
“When did you get here?”
Something I didn’t know was there
After the initial feeling of shock and fear subdued
I thought to myself
“Hey Satan”
“When did you get here?”
Wednesday June 2 2021
I’m about to break you
I know this because I’ve been broken myself
And I was raised by broken people
It’s heavy
All this guilt I feel
But I’ve been a slave to other minds for too long
So can you be my guardian angel?
Even after I’ve broken you
Can you sacrifice yourself to me
They way the world has asked me to sacrifice my life
For gradients, patterns, and oceans in the sun-kissed sky For cheap pleasures
And a life that will be quicker than your last blink
Can you love someone
Who only loves to destroy
Bust ear holes
And kill whatever was inside a man
Before they heard that sweet music called sin
My discipline takes a tole
I could use a guardian angel
I know this because I’ve been broken myself
And I was raised by broken people
It’s heavy
All this guilt I feel
But I’ve been a slave to other minds for too long
So can you be my guardian angel?
Even after I’ve broken you
Can you sacrifice yourself to me
They way the world has asked me to sacrifice my life
For gradients, patterns, and oceans in the sun-kissed sky For cheap pleasures
And a life that will be quicker than your last blink
Can you love someone
Who only loves to destroy
Bust ear holes
And kill whatever was inside a man
Before they heard that sweet music called sin
My discipline takes a tole
I could use a guardian angel
Friday November 12 2021
I see a boy become a killer
I see a girl become a death
I realize that life’s for sinners
I realize that’s not my fault
But I feel responsible for your pain
I feel responsible for this hate
Hatred, was the hue of me
Rage and steam blew out of me
Spit your respect right in your face
Cut myself to save your life
Blur my life, distorted fuck
Your wicked dick wet of a slut
My mothers blood slipped in my hands
And my last two tears won’t clean this land
You lost me at the start
Fuck this I’m moving out
Fuck this home, I’m gone
I’m not putting up with your shit anymore
I’m not listening to your faux love
Say you love me like a brother
Then turned on us
My mother, my sisters, my brother
Myself
You’re not with me anymore
Fuck this
[BLEED] [LEAD DISTORTION]
I see a girl become a death
I realize that life’s for sinners
I realize that’s not my fault
But I feel responsible for your pain
I feel responsible for this hate
Hatred, was the hue of me
Rage and steam blew out of me
Spit your respect right in your face
Cut myself to save your life
Blur my life, distorted fuck
Your wicked dick wet of a slut
My mothers blood slipped in my hands
And my last two tears won’t clean this land
You lost me at the start
Fuck this I’m moving out
Fuck this home, I’m gone
I’m not putting up with your shit anymore
I’m not listening to your faux love
Say you love me like a brother
Then turned on us
My mother, my sisters, my brother
Myself
You’re not with me anymore
Fuck this
[BLEED] [LEAD DISTORTION]
Sunday October 9 2022
Today my guardian angel danced across the water
“Peace”
She said as her light danced over the ripple of the waves The shimmer of my tears
And I thought several things
I thought
There isn’t a jewel in this world
Nor a dress as beautiful as my dancing angel
I thought
I am nothing more than a boy at heart
God’s Son
And peace manifested
I thought
I could die now
And know I did my best
And know that I found peace
And then
I heard what sounded like bombs traveling through the air
On their way to me
And I believed them
And I was ready
But a moment later
And I remained
With everything I was born with
With nothing to bear
With everything I’ve ever needed
Proceeding to begin the rest of my life once more
“Peace”
She said as her light danced over the ripple of the waves The shimmer of my tears
And I thought several things
I thought
There isn’t a jewel in this world
Nor a dress as beautiful as my dancing angel
I thought
I am nothing more than a boy at heart
God’s Son
And peace manifested
I thought
I could die now
And know I did my best
And know that I found peace
And then
I heard what sounded like bombs traveling through the air
On their way to me
And I believed them
And I was ready
But a moment later
And I remained
With everything I was born with
With nothing to bear
With everything I’ve ever needed
Proceeding to begin the rest of my life once more
Thursday March 28 2024
I have been so mad at my Father
For so many years
For his short comings as a man
I failed to realize that he has never had anyone…
His Mother…
Abandoned him
His Father…
Exiled
His Siblings…
Cursed with Envy and Hate
His First Born…
Led Him into Hell
His Second Born…
Cursed with Disability
His Wife…
Tired of His Ways
I sat with him briefly moments ago
For the first time since the last quarterly domestic explosion
1:30 AM and he cannot sleep
I can feel the stress and suffering radiating off of him
Upon inquiry
He tells me he feels extremely lonely
My 70+ year old father
I am forgiving my Father
I no longer care
I refuse to turn my back on him
He has absolutely no one in his corner
With Love
For so many years
For his short comings as a man
I failed to realize that he has never had anyone…
His Mother…
Abandoned him
His Father…
Exiled
His Siblings…
Cursed with Envy and Hate
His First Born…
Led Him into Hell
His Second Born…
Cursed with Disability
His Wife…
Tired of His Ways
I sat with him briefly moments ago
For the first time since the last quarterly domestic explosion
1:30 AM and he cannot sleep
I can feel the stress and suffering radiating off of him
Upon inquiry
He tells me he feels extremely lonely
My 70+ year old father
I am forgiving my Father
I no longer care
I refuse to turn my back on him
He has absolutely no one in his corner
With Love
HATRED
TRACKLIST01 BROWN SUGAR
These bed sheets they smell like oceans
And this bed, it sinks like sand
I’m an addict, don’t you know?
(Thought that you could see why)
(Living in a dream)
Washed my face, the sun was falling
(Baby I’m a feen for love)
Most my day spent at the beach
(Sugar, baby dream)
Girl I’m wiser then you know
(Thought that you would know by now)
It’s gonna be a good ride
I’m gonna get so high tonight
Brown Sugar by my bedside
It’s gonna be a good ride
I’m gonna let my freak flag fly
Brown Sugar by my bedside
Because I know
Grapefruit’s sweet when it’s dipped in gold
You peeled it for me like I was your boy
Said, let the water wash away all your conflict with the night and day
Brown Sugar skin, need to wash my face
Between these sheets I can almost taste
Brown Sugar
In my veins
Brown Sugar
I can taste
Brown Sugar
In my veins
Brown Sugar x3
Brown, Brown Sugar
Brown Sugar x8
02 FIRST TIME
This night was a night to remember
Took you in from the outside
And I remember
Licked your neck for the First Time
Made you wet for the First Time
Make this feel like your First Time
To remember, yeah
And it felt so good
To know that I’m better
I can’t hide it, making me sweat
Losing my breath
I know you like it
He provided the sun
But tonight you want rain, oh oh oh oh oh oh
When I close my eyes all I see is skin
Rub on me gently till’ I see you again
Arch my back over this precious thang
The smell of her scent inside my car
Where were going together is the better part
Hand in hand until it start
This ain’t art
Babygirl it’s the First Time
(First Time)
There’s nothing like the First Time
(First Time)
On my mind like the First Time
(First Time)
Pray this stay like the First Time
This night was a night to remember
I could tell you don’t cum for anyone
I’ll remember
Now it’s done and I’m outside
My bed cold like the outside
Please don’t make this one quick ride
To remember, to remember-member
When I close my eyes all I see is skin
Rub on me gently till’ I see you again
Arch my back over this precious thang
The smell of her scent inside my car
Where were going together is the better part
Hand in hand until it start
This ain’t art
Babygirl it’s the First Time
(First Time)
There’s nothing like the First Time
(First Time)
On my mind like the First Time
(First Time)
Pray this stay like the First Time
03 DRUNK
It’s a hot summer night up in New York City
It’s a great damn time to stop and unwind
I’ma lose mind, I’ma go and start a riot
I’ma spend my life on the night
If I drink too fast oh, I’ll surely crash
If the scene’s too slow I might do blow
It’s a hot ass night and there’s hella funk
It’s a great damn time to go and get Drunk
Get Drunk to fill my sorrows
Get Drunk to change my life
Get Drunk to free my freak-uh
Get Drunk to speed through strife
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
I don’t like it when you tell me that I’m doing fine
Work days are my worst days and my worst days are my life
I get Drunk
OooOooOooOooOooOoo
Ooo, Ooo
I get Drunk
OooOooOooOooOooOoo
Get Drunk to fill my sorrows
Get Drunk to change my life
Get Drunk to free my freak
Get Drunk to speed through strife
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
04 NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Been on it
Young nigga I’m steady acting retarded
Got a bad hand so I’ma bomb it
Nevermind
Nevermind
Hatefully I’ma flaunt it
I’m about to have a breakdown
My niggas want it
Want it
Want it
Want it
Want it cause’ these niggas in bondage
Bondage
Bondage
Everyday niggas getting faded
Faded
Faded
Everyday, niggas run the fade
The fade
The fade
Coping with liquor in my system
System
System
I’m might go on and kill the system
System
System
Every young nigga stay equipped
Equipped
Equipped
And every young nigga never miss
He missed
He missed
My niggas, they playing with finesse
Finesse
Finesse
The music gon hit up in ya chest
Ya chest
Ya chest
Young niggas be breaking down for nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Niggas be breaking down for nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Love and Hatred
Two sides of the same coin
My nigga face it
Like gemini I’m trading places
I’ma dope feen and a Bankhead
Girl I’m full of Hate
Ah
And you know it’s not
Natural
Natural catastrophe
Catastrophe, I gotta be
Girl I’m full of Hate
Come and take it off me
Come and take it off me
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
Have a Nervous Breakdown
05 SCREAM
Scream when I get it
I don’t see a single nigga out here that can rob me
Scream when I get it
When I catch the sprit babygirl it ain’t a problem
Scream when I get it
Scream
Babygirl I
Scream when I get it
Scream
Babygirl I
(Give a little)
If you don’t feel that shit quite
Babygirl shake it until you feeling right
(Drink a little)
I know the spirit got bite
But babygirl, pain is quite a feeling right?
(Smoke a little)
Spirit put me in a coffin
Pray to God that I’ll be okay
(Live a little)
I know you want a good life
So don’t stop
Don’t stop
Don’t stop
Don’t stop
Get it x4
Watch me how I, uh uh
Watch me how I, tsk tsk uh
Don’t stop
Don’t stop
I’ma uh
I’ma uh
I’ma make you Scream baby
I’ma make you Scream
Don’t stop
Don’t stop
Get it x8
Watch me how I, uh uh
Watch me how I don’t stop
Don’t stop
Get it
Get it
I’ma make you Scream baby
I’ma make you Scream
Scream x64
Scream when I get it
I don’t see a single nigga out here that can rob me
Scream when I get it
When I catch the sprit babygirl it ain’t a problem
Scream when I get it
Scream
Babygirl I
Scream when I get it
Scream
Babygirl I
(Give a little)
I’m in love with the way
Your body does miraculous thangs
(Drink a little)
You’re a goddess of the day
The sprit of my mother’s pain
(Smoke a little)
It’s an ache, it’s a strain
Other people call it my heart
(Live a little)
Screaming to have a good life
I don’t stop
Don’t stop
06 THE GOOD STUFF
Getting high is getting old
Getting close to god but not the mold
High high high!
I need a quick break
My back ache
And I’m tired
Getting stoned to fade away
Don’t be so fast to make a haze
High high high!
I need a quick break
My world aches
And it’s tired
I get so high, I forget
Bout’ black and white and yellow
Hey hey hey!
I need a big break
This work aches
And it’s tired
I get so low, nowhere to go
No space in time was mine, uh
Time time time
For a big break
Black world hate
Getting tired
I though I told ya
This is the good
This is the good
This is the, uh
The Good Stuff
The Good Stuff
A lullaby
(Yeah shut up!)
(Black Power)
Gimme the goods
Gimme the goods
Gimme the, uh
The Good Stuff
The Good Stuff
You know “the why”
(Know the why)
(Shut up, put hands on em’!)
This is the good
This is the good
This is the, uh
The Good Stuff
The Good Stuff
Uh! Ya dig!
Kill a white
They gon’ get this nigga good
Get this nigga good
Get this nigga good
The Good Stuff
The Good Stuff
Uh! Yeah, yeah
Keep it funky
Keep it black my brother
Keep it funky
Keep it black for your mother
Keep it funky
Keep it black my brother
Keep it funky
Keep it black for your mother
07 EMOTION IN SOUND
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
What a burden
Young niggas broken, destitute, but workin’
But underpay is certain
Cause and effect nigga
Caused a wreck
You made a billion off of 30 dollars
Bitches hollar for 3 more dollars, pshhh
Lil’ baby shake that ass
Or someone else gon’ shake it
Instead of making it to college
For better options or better knowledge
My nigga
My nigga fuck that
I’ma make it to the league to shit my nigga’s dreams
Man fuck that
I’ma make it if I gotta kill a nigga just to take it
Nigga fuck that
But y’all was arm and arm, hmm
Slave ships turned to tinted whips and black capitalists
Shake that ass
She still shake that ass
I don’t really see a future for my people since I’m seeing evil
French niggas eating crepes
Paid for by burning villages and hella rapes
And it’s been a day
My mothers village
Emotion In Sound, shit
And that white boy shit was never really emo
But this don’t make a difference
Pessimistic with a big dick
Fuck a white bitch and now I’m big shit
Still don’t make a difference, shit
Emotion In Sound
Still don’t make a difference
Emotion In Sound
I got some white friends telling me they know this version
But deep down they love the way these niggas hurtin’
Keep these niggas burnin’
Shit
I’ma pay to watch
I’ma pay to watch
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
Emotion In Sound
08 I DON’T CHANGE FOR ANYONE
Stayed up
Baby had to cake up
Babygirl your make-up’s sound
Baked up
Talking bout’ my baby
Talking bout’ my baby
Yeah, yeah
Because
Oh I love my baby
Oh l love my baby
Right?
Girl you got a figure
Puttin’ up that fake shit
You was a baby when you learned to die
Baby we all die the same
That ain’t no game
Wasted time
I know Grim run this train
Straight into the end
I can’t lie
I think I died that way
Tryna find my sanity
Tryna find my scythe end
Baby can you handle me?
Baby can you ride?
I’m still the same
Your boyfriend forever is a lifetime
I’m game
Young nigga
Don’t Change
Won’t change
Are you okay?
I’m gonna love you anyways
I Don’t Change
Kill me just to bury your secrets
I’m living with your soul in me regardless
My mess won’t change
What a look in your face
I can tell that you want it anyways
I swear, I swear
You sure know pain
Absolve me of everything
I Don’t Change For Anyone
But you
But you
But you
WooOooOooOoo
I Don’t Change
Don’t Change For Anyone
But you
But you
I Don’t Change
I Don’t Change
Don’t Change For Anyone
Anyone but you
Beautiful cries in my shoulder
Death is written into her face
Ya dig?
09 STONED (DEMO)
Take a little sugar
That’s all you need
Roses in the jungle
Get as high as you please
If you want some baby
Sound’s the drug to take you there
Getting Stoned baby
You want to?
Lil’ bitch a mother
She gets Stoned
Before you try to judge
Just get Stoned
Life’s a bitch, she works it
Life is hard, it hurts quick
Life alone, she’s on her own
She gets Stoned
Uncle Sam
Fuck it good
Ain’t nothin’ wrong
Life without a purpose
Death without corpse
Puts niggas in the worst position
So we get Stoned
Smoke a joint
Fall in love
Learn to fuck
If you get too Stoned girl
Just fly away
(Fly, Fly, Fly)
And bring your ass back my way
If you get too Stoned girl
Just listen to my music baby
(Yeah)
I’ll bring you back home
You should come and get Stoned
Stoned
Stoned
Stoned
Stoned
You should come and get Stoned girl
Stoned
Stoned
Stoned
Stoned
You should come and get Stoned
(You should come and, yeah)
You should come and get Stoned
Stoned
Stoned
It’s been such a good time having you all here
You ever find yourself in trouble?
Or in pain?
Well, there’s no need to fear anymore
All you gotta do is get high baby
Just get high baby
Hahaha
I’ll see you there right?
Stay high and stay fly
10 HATRED
I gotta be honest
I love it when you touch my body baby
And it’s harmless
I gotta be real
You’re the type of bitch that makes me feel
How I never feel
Don’t be afraid to give me one more chance
Girl I’m harmless
Don’t be afraid to give me one last dance
Girl I promise
I’ll throw this hatred in a locket baby
I almost lost my Dad
He’s out here fucking baby
My Mama broken, sad
And I’ve been a problem baby
I’ll put my hatred in a locket for you
I’ll put my case up in this track just for you
I’ve been this way that’s why I’m rockin’ for you
Ahhh
I put my hatred in a pocket for you
I gotta be honest
All I really got is my body baby
It’s harmless
I gotta be real
The world don’t love it never will
It’s a broken feel
Birth another nigga and make him deal
Bring me down, I still ain’t feel it
Cursed my name, I still ain’t healin
Play this game, I’m never winnin’
I hate this game
I’ll throw this hatred a locket baby
I almost lost my Dad
He’s out here fucking baby
My Mama broken, sad
And I’ve been a problem baby
I’ll put my hatred in a locket for you
I’ll put my case up on this track just for you
I’ve been this way that’s why I’m rockin’ for you
Ahhh
I put my hatred in a pocket for you
I’ll throw this hatred a locket baby
I almost lost my Dad
He’s out here fucking baby
My Mama broken, sad
And I’ve been a problem baby
I’ll put my hatred in a locket for you
I’ll put my case up in this track just for you
I’ve been this way that’s why I’m rockin’ for you
Ahhh
I put my hatred in this pocket for you
[General “No Pity” Prayer]
Hate is generational
From a selfish Father
To a stubborn Mother
From a broken Mother
To the toxic womb of a disabled child
Blood of my Blood
Bone of my Bone
Flesh of my Flesh
Hatred surrounds the womb
And upon entering the explosion of gradients and lights called life
Through the tears of a natural birth
And the cries of a neglected black mother
One is faced with navigating
The hatred of mankind
Simply because the child is
Born
Beautiful
&
Black
Will the world say
Amen
Amen
Amen